transcending our smallness

Lee Stranahan: Embrace What You Have In Common With Rick Warren

Usually, I avoid commenting on this topic because it is so controversial and endlessly complex. I have to sympathize with the outrage that those in the LGTBQ community feel about the choice of Rick Warren to give the invocation at Obama's inauguration. But, let's give some credit to the fact that Obama also invited Rev. Lowery to give the closing prayer - and he supports gay marriage (sort of).

Honestly, I can't help but admire Obama for putting into practice his promise to welcome all people to the table, even if he fundamentally disagrees with them on some issues. I certainly don't agree with Obama on everything. I definitely don't agree with Warren on everything. But I respect that Warren has a credible moral voice on some issues like poverty in Africa and HIV/AIDS; his willingness to break rank with rank and file evangelical conservatives by reaching out to Obama is commendable.

At the same time (and I'm going to contradict myself here), I do wonder if if was necessary to pick a prominent pastor from CA who opposed Prop. 8, so soon after the election. There are certainly liberal or progressive evangelical pastors who might have been a better choice to bridge the divides in America ---- a Jim Wallis or Tony Campolo comes to mind. But then again, they have been fairly written off by conservative evangelicals, so it lacks the same punch. Is this pick needlessly divisive or a needed act of bridge building? Is it cynical pandering or a principled commitment to inclusivity despite difference?

I agree with Stranahan that we have very small politics in this country --- in fact, our politics are too small for problems that face us. We have to learn to work together. We have to learn to practice reconciliation and civil discourse. We have to learn how to see a fundamental goodness in people and give them the benefit of the doubt, even if we disagree with some of their ideas and opinions. And we have to rely on reason, genuine dialogue, and authentic relationship to create social change.

Did I support Prop. 8? No. I understand the justifiable hurt and outrage that so many in CA are experiencing right now. But do I support censoring and excluding people from the public sphere just because they happen to support it? No. Yeah, Obama could have picked a less "divisive" figure, but I still respect the courage that Warren and Obama are both showing as they break our old paradigms. Don't think that Warren isn't getting equally criticized from the right for supporting Obama on some positions. It's antithetical to some in the Christian community that Warren would be willing to engage in dialogue and friendship with someone who supports gay rights and is pro-choice. So, both Obama and Warren are getting hit from the right and the left. Personally, whenever, I see that happen, I think it's a good sign even if I might not have made the same choice in Obama's position; I think it is a healthy political climate when we can no longer box our leaders into dichotomous ideologies.


Stranahan says it best:

"in the long run this new politics benefits us all. Ironically, it benefits the minorities and marginalized and ill-treated the most. I know this may be hard for many to see right now but the truth is that this sort of symbol is what America needs. Not seeing just Warren on stage or just Lowery but seeing both of them of there at once.

Obama said it in the abstract time and again during the campaign. Now he's showing us. Seeing the things that Pastor Rick Warren and Reverend Joseph Lowery have in common is more important than seeing the things that separate them. America needs to see that. It's a step down the road where a majority of us see the things that straight Americans in love want are the same things that gay Americans in love want, too.

If you are mad about Rick Warren, I'm not attacking you. I understand your anger and I'm not saying it's not justified. But it's all right to let your anger go, too. It doesn't mean surrender, it doesn't mean giving up the struggle for equality.
It means doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. It means winning, right now - because the fight against hate starts whenever you want it, in your own heart. You can win a battle right now by not hating.

Can I get an amen?"

sleep in heavenly peace

Naming your dreams is scary --- I always go through this superstitious process that goes something like this. If I say out loud (or pray for) what I really really hope for or want or desire, than I risk being foolish, pretentious, or naïve. Who is to say that I deserve a particular path or dream? Rally, it’s just a complex way of not wanting to “jinx” my future, as if God is going to despise me or judge me for hoping. Despite all my platitudes about faith and trust, I truly have a hard time owning and naming my dreams before God and trusting that God has created me for a specific purpose and calling.

Anyway, yesterday, I drew out hopes for the new year on a piece of paper as an act of prayer.

Here are my New Year hopes and Advent stirrings:

For meaningful creative work, mentors and community

For opportunities to engage in exploration and self-expression

For the opportunity to engage ideas, to write, and bring together word and spirit in a facilitated way (i.e. graduate school)

I can’t help but still feeling a trace of guilt in this being my biggest hope right now – I mean really, it all seems so selfish and focused around me, even though my vision is that I will be prepared for service and ministry, and I long more than anything to work towards justice, reconciliation, and healing. I’m not sure where that voice comes from: the voice that accuses me and interrogates me, but I don’t think it's reality.

I love that verse that talks about the peace of God guarding our hearts and minds. I’ve come back to that often in the last few months. We really do need that peace beyond understanding to protect us from all the logical or illogical forces that threaten to steal our life, hope, and dreams.

I’m trying to breathe in that peace and offer it to those around me.

My Daughters/My Self - Judith Warner Blog - NYTimes.com

My Daughters/My Self - Judith Warner Blog - NYTimes.com

Why do I see so much of myself in this?

"Contemplation without justice, clinging to mystery without repairing the real world---is [work] unfinished."

dust storm

dust storm

dust storm

sick

Well, I finally have my first major cold of the season. I spent all of yesterday on the couch, and I'm feeling miserable.

the gift of praise

Just at the time when I have been doubting my own gifts, abilities, relevancy, and calling, I have been humbled and lifted up by the willingness of others to step out and advocate for me.

I find it difficult to see myself clearly right now. And yet, it’s always amazing when other people see you better than you can see yourself. People have the power to name light in you, even when you struggle to really believe and own it for yourself.

I just got to read a really beautiful recommendation on my behalf for graduate school this morning (my recommender prefers others to see what he writes about them to others – I like that integrity, I wonder if I could have it myself?)

The funny thing is how reading the recommendation made me feel. I felt encouraged, affirmed, accurately seen, and ultimately humbled by the ways that I had influenced others by just being who I am and living my life. Normally, it feels like I don’t know what I’m doing and how the different pieces of my life add up and whether it really matters, but it was nice to see that from an outside perspective the pattern of my life does make sense. My desire to live into complexity and enter into suffering, to be a reconciling force, is worth owning. I am living out what I love. And the Spirit which invigorates me is present and visible. That’s all I could ever hope for.

It’s nice to be seen.

What’s interesting is that I trust the perspective of my writer. That makes all the difference in the world. When you know the character and integrity of another and you trust them to honestly assess you, praise feels good. It’s a gift.

The most encouraging thing about the graduate school process – no matter what happens – is I’ve received so much honest support, encouragement, and advocacy from people I really respect. The type of support that I know would not be given if others did not believe in me. I’ve had a hard time feeling fully seen by my current community, but I’m blown away by people half-way across the country stepping up to bat for me; seeing me in ways that I have struggled to see myself the last year; reminding me of all that I carry within me; helping me connect past, present, and future. If any of my friends are reading this…THANK YOU!

It’s all reminded me again about the power of advocacy, but honest advocacy. I have to confess sometimes – especially in my work with students – I’m tempted to overpraise or to name something that is not there while at the same time not asking for responsibility and accountability. I’ve realized that this harms more than it helps. It cheapens the power of real affirmation and advocacy, and it doesn’t lend itself to empowerment. It’s also led to some disturbing lapses of judgment on my part. I know when this happens, my praise and affirmation has become more about my own ego or feeling needed, than a genuine desire to honestly help guide, mentor, and see the success of my students.

So, it’s important to guard praise carefully, to offer it generously when needed, and to go the extra mile for those you believe in. That’s at least the principle I’m trying to live out every day as work with students. And I have to say, I’m thankful for those who have modeled this to me. I’m grateful that when their praise has come it’s honest, it means something, I can trust it, and I can know that it’s for my benefit (not theirs).That’s the best gift in the whole world.

It makes me want to pass it on...actually, it makes me excited for future opportunities to use my influence to empower and support others. and it reminds me that I have those opportunities right now if I am careful and discerning.

chasing, aching

I’m afraid the usual winter shadow is upon me. Every day is measured in terms of better or worse. Still, I tend to end the day heavy. Lingering doubts and questions find their way to the surface. I wonder what it really means to wait expectantly?

I know I am yearning for change, but of what type? Change of scenery? Change of orientation? Change of belief?

I want miracles and transformation – I wonder why this longing. A longing to find and be found, a longing for a day when I – and the whole world – would give up our rights to power, privilege, and being right, and simply live alongside each other in loving community. But this vision seems more and more foolish every day.

Everywhere I look people are racing for power, for prestige, for greater clarity and certainty, for ideological shells and practiced identities forged at the expense of others. And it’s hard to deny that at least in the short term this route promises success, placement, comfort.

Residing in weakness, powerlessness, sorrow, and the desert of aching unanswered questions is not very much fun. I’m hoping that light will break through, but I have to be honest and admit that God’s idea of light shining in the darkness was to place God’s self in the tiny fragile shell of humanity and to live alongside us. He didn’t offer answers. He only asked us to come, follow, believe.

Frankly, right now, that doesn’t seem like enough. But at the same time, I can’t think of a better alternative. Or any alternative for that matter. Everything is vanity, chasing after the wind.

let it snow

It was 75 degrees in Texas today. I know I shouldn't complain, but this season doesn't feel complete without the combination of cold, darkness, and the deep brilliance of snow.

mystery

Well, the season of Advent is officially upon us. Today, mystery is on my mind. Yesterday, I read a delightful meditation by Kathleen Norris on the power of mystery and how impoverished faith becomes by our unwillingness to accept, prepare for, and anticipate mystery.

I woke up this morning wondering if I had lost my own capacity to imagine. It’s partly the season – winter is pure drudgery. We try to baptize it and call it waiting, but right now, I feel caught in a sea of endless boredom. Blues.

By all accounts, I live in a very religious city. And yet, this place feels like one of the most desolate places on earth. There is very little mystery here. Everyone is so attached to tradition, custom, routine. Christmas comes and passes with all the same old platitudes about the real meaning of the season. But do we really encounter mystery? Something that leaves us radically disoriented, shaken from our self-assuming foundations, shivering. Something akin to glory, awe, and terror.

I have to wonder –

Where are the dreamers?

Where are those waiting in sheer desperation?

And where are those beginning to ponder a life of unimaginable power growing inside them?

it's winter

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves ...
Don't search for the answers,
which could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is, to live everything.

Live the questions now.

Perhaps then, someday far in the future,
you will gradually,
without even noticing it,
live your way into the answer.

rainer maria rilke

the world is watching

MDC statement on Obama’s victory
Barack Obama has been elected the 44th President of the United States of America. We congratulate Obama, his family, his campaign staff and indeed the whole of America.

To us, Obama’s victory is a victory of hope, faith, change, a restart, values and dreams which have underpinned our fight as a movement against dictatorship and the neo-fascism of Robert Mugabe.

Obama’s victory will hopefully usher in a departure from the politics of polarization, fear, unilateralism and arrogance that has defined the Bush doctrine in the last eight years. Indeed, we hope that Obama will open new avenues of dialogue of new interaction based on respect of all countries irrespective of the size of national budgets or the number of fighter jets owned.

We also associate ourselves with the clear messages “to those who would tear this world down”, and to those “who seek peace and security. Quite clearly, a full-stop has to be put to the years of plunder, dictatorship and corruption, civil wars, patronage and clientelism that has characterized many failed states particularly on the African continent.

We are mindful of the difficulties that lie ahead in Obama’s path and the fact that this is no El Dorado, a construct that Obama himself acknowledges in his acceptance speech. Indeed it is a task that may take more than his two terms of office. Perhaps the greatest thing we have learnt from this victory is that democracy can work and that there is no alternative to the same.

John MacCain’s speech was particularly humbling, instructive and inspiring. If in Africa, incumbents would accept defeat and would graciously depart from the seat of power, this would be a different continent, and indeed Zimbabwe would be a different place.
For those of us who are still in the trenches, fighting for change and democracy across the entire African continent, this is our victory.
One which for now we will savour and celebrate.

TENDAI BITI, MPMDC SECRETARY GENERAL

hope endures

This was pretty special for me ----

Nelson Mandela, South Africa's first black president, welcomed Mr Obama's victory as a sign of hope for everyone.

"Your victory has demonstrated that no person anywhere in the world should not dare to dream of wanting to change the world for a better place,"

Let us dare to dream!!

in one week...

So, I've been gone for quite some time. Life is moving at breakneck speed, and all my writing energies are going towards graduate school applications.

The election is in 6 days! I'm holding my breath.

This weekend I had the chance to visit Montgomery, Alabama. I stood in front of Dexter Ave. Church where Dr. King preached, and I could not hold back the tears. Even more stunning was the realization that the church which birthed the civil rights movement stands literally across the street from the center of white power --- the state capitol building (literally a giant white fortress) where both Gov. Wallace and the first Confederate presidency resided. Who could have predicted when the confederacy formed over 100 years later a prophet would rise up and begin to dismantle the legacy of slavery from the center of the beast? That little church stared directly up hill into the face of racism and power. Standing where so many others marched and walked, I was blown away by the irony and the sense that God always makes a way where there is no way if people are willing to follow and stand on the side of justice.

So, today, as we look ahead to the possibility of the first African American winning the presidential election, I am thankful and humbled by the sacrifice and blood that so many people shed for justice. Dr. King's dream of a beloved community and a nation repentant has not yet been fully realized, but we have the opportunity to move one step further.

I heard an African American man on NPR yesterday saying:

Rosa sat so Martin could walk
Martin walked so Obama could run
Obama ran so our children could fly

I will share with my children the stories of Rosa, Martin, and Obama because their history is inseparable with my own. Justice for them is justice for me because their courage is freeing me from the intolerable burden of privilege. There is still much more work to be done, but I'm thankful for how their courage. Their sacrifice has given me new courage.

If Obama wins, there will be more challenges to face. Ideology does not shift overnight, but it is impossible to deny that a new era requiring a new paradigm is here. We are living through a seismic shift in history, and it is exciting, nerve racking, and unknow. One thing is certain: change will come, whether we are prepared for it or now.

Those who hear the call of the Kingdom are uniquely prepared for this change. In this time of economic crisis and political crisis, we can proclaim our commitment to simplicity and love of neighbor, to justice and care for the poor. We can affirm our global brothers and sisters, and reject a politics of fear. I see new openings for truth and repentance, and I am hopeful.

From Obama's closing argument a few days ago:

"Don’t believe for a second this election is over. Don’t think for a minute that power concedes. We have to work like our future depends on it in this last week, because it does.

In one week, we can choose an economy that rewards work and creates new jobs and fuels prosperity from the bottom-up.

In one week, we can choose to invest in health care for our families, and education for our kids, and renewable energy for our future.

In one week, we can choose hope over fear, unity over division, the promise of change over the power of the status quo.

In one week, we can come together as one nation, and one people, and once more choose our better history"

Dr. King would be proud. But as he and all of us know: power does not concede easily, and the work for justice and tranformation is never over.

George Fox, ACU, and Racism

There have been a lot of racists incidents on Christian college campuses the last few month, which worries me. Recently, a noose was found in the student body president's office at Abilene Christian University. Now, at George Fox, an image of Barack Obama was used to taunt minority students with leadership scholarships. Read the full story here.

I don't really have the energy to try to unpack all of this. It's suffice to say that this is extremely discouraging, especially for these targeted students who now must be made the center of attention on college campuses as university administrators scramble to clean up the PR mess. The question is what it it about the MAJORITY culture on these campuses (addressed or not addressed) that is allowing these types of actions/behaviors to surface in such an overt away?

Last I heard they were still figuring out if they could call the noose incident at ACU a hate crime. This is astounding to me and reprehensible.

"There's still no indication whether one or more individuals were involved in the incident or whether it could be considered a crime of bias -- or a "hate crime" -- because Watkins is black and a noose to many people is a racist symbol that evokes memories of a time when African-Americans were lynched." To read the whole story about ACU, click here.


How can there be doubt that invoking one of the most racist symbols of American history and attaching it to an African American is a hate crime? I simply don't understand. To label it as such and for the university president to take a strong stand on it should have been the first step in my opinion. We don't do any good splitting semantics on these types of issues. Clearly, there is a problem, and the majority culture and administrating must name it and confront it squarely. The next step for Christian campuses should be to mourn, repent of a culture of racism and ignorance, and affirm a commitment to justice and reconciliation. Anything that tries to isolate these incidents as individual acts misses the mark in my opinion, though if you watch the video below of the ACU student president, he says the opposite. Incidentally, the student president at ACU is an Obama supporter. Connection?

After all the work that has been done with Christian campuses recently on issues of "diversity" and "reconciliation" now is where the rubber meets the road because everyone is watching to see if we will really implement our stated ideals of justice and reconciliation. Ok, so justice is not usually included in reconciliation language, but it cannot be separated. Situations like the one in George Fox and ACU demand justice if reconciliation is going to mean anything.

In some ways, I look to situations like this as a defining teaching and growing opportunities for Christian communities to really come together, struggle and mourn. However, all too often these incidents are pushed under the rug as quickly as possible, downplayed, and essentially not addressed after the perfunctory PR stints. I'm not saying that this happened at either George Fox or ACU. I don't know enough about how these particular situations were handled and the presidents seem to be genuinely grieved. However, I do know that it would be all too easy to push the multicultural staff person (if there is one) to offer a few more workshops or "diverse" events and push minority students to share their experiences in a wider forum, but to never address the root issue and wider cultural context campus wide, student by student.

ACU Student Body President reflect on the experience.

save us from the seriousness of news

I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this yesterday. I don't know why i find it so funny!!

how racism works

From Letters to the Editors @ Fort Worth Star-Telegram - today

How racism works

What if John McCain were a former president of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain were still married to the first woman he said 'I do' to?

What if Obama were the candidate who left his first wife after she no longer
measured up to his standards?

What if Michelle Obama were a wife who not only became addicted to pain killers, but acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?

What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama were a member of the 'Keating 5'?

What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

- Kelvin LaFond, Fort Worth

and the plague resumes

After a few beautiful days of a cricket-free apartment due to the rain, the plague has resumed. Crickets everywhere! Crawling through cracks, under our door, they chirp, they hop, they fly, and most morbid of all – they come to die. Right in our living room.

the light shines

It almost feels like I am in Seattle this morning. I wake up to the sound of rain outside my window. The morning light is low, dimmed by a sky of clouds, as I drive to work with the radio on. At work, I turn on KEXP streaming online. Damien Jurado. Leonard Cohen. Jose Gonzalez.

If I was in Seattle, what would I want to do this morning?

Head to Café Ladro in Fremont to read and write, work on graduate school applications, swing by PCC for a spelt blackberry muffin. Watch the people rush by on their way to work and school.

A friend asked me the other day if I was doing much writing these days. Not really. Creativity feels blocked at the moment, and it’s not really a great time either. Perhaps it’s the pressure to put out and perform as I’m worrying about writing samples, essays, personal statements. And perhaps it is the environment.

I don’t know how long I need to be in Texas before space begins to feel sacred. This isn’t a place of death for me, but it isn’t a place of life either. It has nothing to do with Texas particular, but more to do with me and the longings of my own heart. No matter how hard I try, I just haven’t found that consistent place here where everything melts away and I feel right with the world and myself.

I’m dreaming of mountains, of changing fall colors, of crisp air, and the constant buzz of the city.

a new low.

This is probably one of the most despicable ads of the political season. I couldn't believe it when I saw this ad by McCain on the news last night. The truth is that Obama supported legislation that would protect kids from sex-offenders by teaching them about proper and in-proper touching etc, and this desire to protect children from sexual abuse is misconstrued by McCain to try to reignite the culture wars.

Shameful? What do you think?

got hope?

At a time when voters and the nation are supposed to be ramping up the excitement, I can’t help but feel more and more discouraged. I listen to conservative talk radio, and the barrage of criticism and borderline hate speech is relentless. I know that millions of Americans (including my dad) are just eating it up. I’m fascinated and outraged by the narrative McCain and his surrogates have managed to paint ---- Obama as an elitist, as an outsider, as a celebrity, as the “chosen one.” Nothing could be further from the truth when you actually pause to consider the facts of who Obama is and the historic nature of his candidacy. In fact, if anyone is an elitist it is John McCain who comes from a long line of privilege. The racial subtext being spun and re-spun is disheartening: the old fear of the black man rising. And Obama is in a tough spot because if he projects confidence, he is seen as overreaching. If he is successful, he is seen as elitist. At a time where we should be celebrating a historic achievement, Obama is caught up in subtle and not so subtle allusions to Hitler and the anti-Christ and basest pandering to white fear. I’m worried that his campaign will not be prepared for this vicious undercurrent, which is corroding the confidence of average Americans not trained to critically look at narrative.

I’m ashamed and angry at how quickly the narrative has shifted and been turned upside down. I definitely underestimated the pervasiveness ignorance in American culture. And I wonder if Obama’s inspiration, story, and intelligence will be enough to defeat lies, fears, and misconceptions. We Americans love our security. Over the last few weeks it seems like Obama has been a one man show. Where are all the supporters, where is the party to boost him, defend him, and frame this election around more than elitism? And where are the people directly challenging racism and hate speech? Let me say it even more specifically – where are the white people directly and publically challenging racism and hate speech? I know it’s a delicate dance because the Obamas are doing all they can right now to avoid identification with “race.” But we the people have to call things for what they are. It is absolutely wrong to let the Republicans get away with the horrible and ignorant types of associations they are making.

I heard Rush Limbaugh a few days ago joking (or perhaps not) about how many times he could get away with calling Obama little black boy. This election may not be about race, but the Republicans are not above using race to win. They are not ignorant, just bloodthirsty, as they savagely maligning the story of someone who has risen against incredible odds. I admire Barack and especially Michelle because I understand the odds that have been stacked against them. I see these odds working in higher education every day. These are two people that had to dig down deep and believe in their own dignity and worth long before it was affirmed by others. Michelle Obama is one of the most authentic figures in politics right now. And yet, her authenticity is framed as anger and unpatriotic. What is wrong with our country? Michelle Obama speaks from her heart and sees through the game of politics, yet she is saavy and strong. Is this not the type of role model we want for our sons and daughters?

I’m eager to see what Obama has to say tonight. He needs to be concrete, strong, and substantive. He needs to directly confront these charges of elitism. And the people of the United States need to rise to the occasion as well. We need to meet him half way. We need to show our support and start speaking out against the lies we encounter. I feel convicted that I can no longer just stand by. I don’t think Obama is going to be the savior of the world or of the nation, but if Obama loses because of fear and doubt, I will stand ashamed.

As much as I was inspired by Michelle’s words on Monday, I worry that we as a nation will miss our opportunity to tell our “own children about what we did together in this election.” I worry that we will miss the opportunity to “tell them how this time, we listened to our hopes, instead of our fears. How this time, we decided to stop doubting and to start dreaming. How this time, in this great country - where a girl from the South Side of Chicago can go to college and law school, and the son of a single mother from Hawaii can go all the way to the White House - we committed ourselves to building the world as it should be.” And that is truly depressing.

Anyone got hope?

pendulum shifts

Finding the Right Words for Abortion - The Plank

I haven't spent too much time following the subtle shifts in the Democratic Party as they try to reach out to people of faith, but I am encouraged by this article in The New Republic on new language surrounding abortion in the Democratic Party.

It is really encouraging that two groups who have long been at odds are finding ways to advocate for their values and also compromise. Gradually, the gap that seemed insurmountable is closing. What a fascinating process. This spirit of compromise definitely wasn't there four years ago, and we all payed the price.

Credit needs to be given to Christian progressive groups and evangelicals for making their voices heard and starting dialogue across the political spectrum. Credit also needs to be given to Democrats who have been willing to make space for and listen to a variety of positions. I'm sure both groups are not completely satisfied, but it is a step forward.

I survived Orientation.

civil forum: it's over

ok, the civil forum at saddleback church is now over. it was interesting, but not as illuminating as i thought it might be. Most of what I heard from either candidate was stuff I already knew or expected. I did appreciate Warren's focus on a wide range of issues. I think this really will surprise the mainstream media that expected this to be about religion, instead of what it was about ---- values, worldview, life experience, perspective. So, the real winner here, is Warren.

I'm looking forward to the analysis. I hope there is more of Roland.

civil forum: mccain

McCain's answers on abortion, gay marriage, evil (defined in his words as Osama Bin Laden and radical Islam) are pretty stock Republican but expressed with conviction. For black/white voters, this will be appealing.

Obama at least got a bit more nuanced in his answers. It remains to be seen how this will impact him. Even though he is pro-choice, he expressed acknowledgment of the moral and ethical difficulty and respect for the views of the other side. McCain's position doesn't allow for this. I think Obama's answer on gay marriage is definitely going to be sticky. This is an issue where both sides are pretty committed to their positions and often unwilling to accept any type of middle ground because they see it as giving up their necessary definition of marriage and the rights given.


Warren's asking McCain to define rich. "Rich should be defined as a home, a good education, a job, and an ability to hand off to our children a better more prosperous world." Interesting. This is followed by a statement that he doesn't believe in redistribution.

civil forum

McCain's heroes of wisdom are:
generals
soldiars
entrepenuers

vs. Obama's:

Michelle
grandmother
i can't remember the last one. I think it was a pretty general answer.

Interesting contrast. I'm glad Michelle made the list :)

Wow, I'm actually really impressed with McCain's second and third answers. He admits that his greatest moral failure is the collapse of his first marriage. The greatest moral failure of America ---- instead of going out shopping after 9/11, we should have gotten involved in service. I agree with that principle, thought probably wouldn't place emphasis on the military as he does.

McCain - what issue did you change your mind on in the last 10 years (because of new information)?

WHAT? Off-shore drilling. hmmmm. Argument about national security.

civil forum, not faith forum

Obama is over. I just realized that this forum is actually called a "civil forum" ---- not a faith forum as it was billed in the mainstream media.

Obama and McCain on stage together. awkward.

Back to the title of the forum, I think this says a lot. Warren seems to be intentional about putting the focus on civil discourse from a faith perspective and trying to give Obama/McCain rare opportunities to go deeper and possibly be a bit vulnerable. I'm not sure that has really happened yet. Unfortunately, it's really hard at this stage of the game for either of them to drop their masks (no matter how noble these masks may be.)

faith forum: gay marriage

second break with Obama.

I was surprised with Obama's answer on gay marriage. His answer did not seem to jive with what I know of Obama's support of the LGBTQ community. It was, though, a good middle of the road answer and argument to evangelicals about how civil unions for gays will not hurt or challenge "marriage." It seems that he made a calculated move to answer the question in a way to further align himself with evangelicals. But I know it will raise red-flags with a lot of his gay supporters. It definitely took me off guard. I wonder what the fallout will be.

faith forum live blogging

The first section with Obama is over. I'm not as much impressed with Obama's answers. Once you hear him speak a lot, you pretty much anticipate his answers. What I AM impressed with are Warren's questions. They are insightful and nuanced. I only wish that the candidates dared to answer them honestly.

Warren understands that so-called flip flopping isn't necessarily bad. Sometimes it's necessary because you change your position based on new information. It means you are able to grow and adapt.

Warren is interested at getting at personal failure, weakness, integrity, leadership, how one makes difficult decisions with love and integrity. This is where faith and politics often clash. Because in the world of politics, it is often considered disastrous to show weakness, to fail, to change and grow.

faith forum live blogging

Greatest moral failure in America?

Obama's answer - that we still do not abide by the principle in Matthew that "whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me" ---- applies to racism, sexism, poverty, etc.

faith forum: civil discourse

It's starting...

Rick Warren "We have to learn to disagree without demonizing each other."

Hmmm. Novel. I like his emphasis on civil discourse. That he would even reach out to both candidates and give them an equal platform.

faith forum live blogging

I am going to try my first take at “live-blogging” the faith forum. I just turned on CNN to see my favorite commentator Roland Martin taking on Tony Perkins from the Family Research Council right after Rick Warren said on public television that he does not consider himself pro-life, but rather “whole-life.”

It’s going to be interesting to see how the issue of abortion comes up further tonight.

I'm also curious to see how the media and others unpack this forum especially because they generally treat evangelical as a political category instead of as a religious term. I think that this forum is going to challenge this a bit.

Roland is kicking ass...

And can I just say that while I rolled my eyes a few years ago when it seemed like the whole world was reading The Purpose Driven Life ---- I have been really impressed with Warren as I have followed him over the years, especially with how his faith and conviction about social justice seems to have genuinely deepened as he has experienced God's work in the world among the most poor and vulnerable. Who would have thought?

graduate school update

The Olympics have been inspiring me recently. In the last 3 years, I have had a hard time with concepts of discipline and success. Stepping away from everything and simply learning to be me has been good. Gradually, I’m gaining affirmation that it is possible to be strong and gentle, do graduate work and take care of myself, and be an intellectual while staying connected to the other things that give me life. An old professor told me a few months ago that the sense of “pretense” in academia is really much more of an outside perception as I confessed my own fears. I’m starting to believe this.

As I’m entering a phase in the application process where I need to be wise, discerning, and very focused, I’m realizing that it’s ok to be driven. It sounds funny, but for a long time I have been afraid of focus, discipline, and naming some of my passions because I have been so afraid of losing the sense of self that I have nurtured and protected. At the same time, my spirit and approach has changed so much. I’m starting to believe that the center will hold. The center will hold.

As I’m transitioning from a walk to a sprint, I hope that I will continue to cultivate this posture of prayer, trust, and anticipation. I’m realizing that I can afford to wait. In fact, I can’t afford not to wait and really listen to my own voice and God’s Spirit within me. I can be offered all the opportunities in the world, but if the clothes don’t fit, they are not worth wearing. I’m not holding onto anything too tightly.

But, as I started revising my writing sample last week, I found myself crying at one point in the writing process because the truth of what I was writing – the ways the ideas were coming together and their real life application – felt so profound. It was especially wondrous to realize that those seeds where there years ago, but it is only now with a different perspective and maturity informed by my own experience of sorrow, that I can bring these threads and concepts together. On another level, it felt really good to be writing an academic paper again. I honestly haven’t touched that stuff since I graduated…my writing instead has been heart-focused, open, playful, investigative, and free-form. It felt good to funnel that energy into something focused again.

The ability to believe in myself has been slow to return, but I’m slowly learning that it is ok (and safe) for me to embrace passion, direction, and even success in a healthy way. I’m actually surprised at the direction everything has taken and the focus that is emerging. There is a deepening sense that I am held even as I step into the unknown. I’ve narrowed my list down to 10 schools with 7 of those schools being religion or theology programs. I would be delighted to be accepted into any of the programs. From a list of 50 schools, I’ve decided over the last few months that it is only worth applying to schools where there is a sense of connection and fit. It’s not about prestige. It’s about resonance and a deeper sense of prompting and vocation. And the money? The timing? Than? I trust that these things will be made clear in time.

What is important to me is the stuff that has always been important: opportunities for interdisciplinary cross-cultural education, and the chance to learn under a diverse faculty with knowledge of and a commitment to global issues, Africa, social justice, healing, and reconciliation. It is these scholars, though rare, who are invaluable to me. I'm ready to learn from them again.

georgia and russia

Very worried about the situation in Georgia, as I'm sure everyone in my family is. We had a great adopted exchange student from Georgia who spent a lot of time with my family in 2003. She was with us during the pro-democratic elections, and full of hope and excitement for what this could mean for her country, family, and future. I can't help but think of her smile and optimism.

Bush Banters as a Buffer in Beijing

Bush Banters as a Buffer in Beijing - NYTimes.com

Interesting article about Bush's strategy in Beijing. I'm reminded that despite the need for respect, there are still serious issues in China in terms of human rights and religious freedom.

What do you think the US response should be to China in the context of the Olympics?

olympic fever, who knew?

It has been an interesting weekend --- lots of opportunities to reflect on different strands of my life. First, the opening Olympic ceremonies were AMAZING. It only confirmed my sense that whatever we in the West might think about China and their politics, we must also remember to respect their dignity, culture and history. I was in awe with the beauty and intricacy of the artistic portion of the ceremonies. I also felt pretty humbled by the magnitude and scope of Chinese culture; it really made me reflect on the shallowness and relative newness of our own.

It’s been really fun watching the Olympics. I didn’t expect to take so much interest in them, but the intersection of so many countries and cultures through the lens of sports and teamwork really fascinates me. I thought of my Korean friends with pride when I watched the swimming competition, and Park Tae-hwan take the gold! How exciting. I really have felt humbled and repentant of how much we in the West ignore Asian culture. It’s not blatant condescension, but we still communicate our sense of superiority regardless. The Olympics have been a really good chance to for me reflect on and repent of this.

I also loved- LOVED – watching the parade of nations. At times, I felt tears running down my face. It was an opportunity to pray for each country as they came onto the world stage in Beijing. My heart simultaneously rejoiced with the picture of so many peoples gathered together in joy and anticipation and broke with the knowledge and awareness of so much pain and conflict in the world. When the five Palestinians marched I could hardly hold it together (good thing I was alone :)). I was struck by their dignity and grieved by the palpable weight of their occupation and oppression. The newscaster mentioned that their swimmer has never had the opportunity to train in an Olympic length field due to lack of access and travel restrictions. Shame! The news of US visa rejections of 5 Palestinian Fulbright scholars is still weighing on me.

Final thought, the young 9 year old survivor of the earthquake leading the flag march for China was adorable, inspiring, and sobering. As was, the US flag bearer, a “lost boy” of Sudan. I love that the United States truly is a nation of immigrants and that our face has always been diverse. I only wish we would celebrate and embrace this diversity more when we are off the sports field.

Anyway, I think it’s safe to say that I officially have “Olympic Fever.” I guess this is the one arena that I feel ok about feeling patriotic and proud of my country, especially because I’m also feeling so proud of all the others.

I also love all the cameos of George W. Bush. That guy really just doesn't have a sense of how to play to the camera. During the opening ceremonies, the camera caught him checking his watch, staring at the ceiling in characteristic blank concentration, and just looking downright bored. Come on, Mr. President.To be fair, I did see a good interview with the president where he basically said that despite our differences, the Olympics are a time to show respect of the Chinese people and their accomplishments. Agreed.

olympics, shame, and peace

As we have talked more with our friends familiar with China, and I have learned more about Chinese culture, I have begun to question activist tactics that have focused putting pressure on China through the Olympic games. This is a moment for China to feel pride and dignity in its people, country, and progress, and I'm convinced that any attempts to pressure China through shame will only back-fire with increased nationalism and dogmatism. Plus, the Chinese reactions to Western pressure are completely understandable given our complicated histories and interactions. I still feel strongly that China needs to be held accountable for human rights abuses and its participation in supplying weapons to Darfur and Zimbabwe (not to mention Burma and Tibet). But I think we Westerners need to be careful in how we issue our responses to China, especially because of the sensitivity surrounding our cultural differences and history.

So, I was really excited about this response, which seems a middle way. The video made me smile too!

Join the online handshake here:

santa fe pictures

santa fe summer

Than and I are back from a wonderful and much needed weekend away in Santa Fe.







We had much to reflect on and celebrate – one year of marriage, one year of Texas, the gift of community, the opportunity to study, and God’s ongoing provision and care in our lives. Thanks to the generous support of our families, we enjoyed a carefree weekend. I didn’t think about our budget once!


Santa Fe is a great city to visit. Our B&B was a block away from the historic Plaza.




So, once we parked our car, we spent the rest of the weekend walking and wandering through the narrow streets.



Friday night we dined at Aqua Santa – an intimate restaurant where food is freshly prepared in an open kitchen. We sat outside in the rustic courtyard framed by large Japanese lanterns and flowing vines. This restaurant has no pretense, only commitment and passion for excellent food. It was perfect. I had fresh soft-shell crab. I ordered without hesitation, but once my food came I realized that I didn’t know how to eat soft shell crab. I gave it my best guess eating most of the shell and the body but leaving the legs. It was an interesting experience to say the least – delicious, but I don’t think I’ll be eating it again anytime soon. Let’s just say I began to over-think what was going into my mouth.


There was a bit of awkwardness throughout the weekend as apparently our tastes run 20 years older than our age. Everywhere we went --- our B&B, dinner, shopping --- we were by far the youngest customers. This makes for a lot of awkward interactions with staff.


Saturday night, we enjoyed drinks and southwestern appetizers on the rooftop cantina at the celebrated Coyote Café. Cheaper with great food and fun atmosphere, we finally felt our age. The BBQ duck quesadilla and the hibiscus-tea-ni were some of my favorites!


We finished the weekend off with two trips to Tara’s Organic Ice Cream --- the most amazing ice cream you will ever taste! I sampled the cardamom and chocolate tarragon flavors. Than had cinnamon and Turkish coffee. Mmmmmm.

Cheers to one year of marriage!

days of lament

This weekend, as Than and I browsed the galleries of Santa Fe, we stumbled on a photographic exhibit of the 1960s. I saw black and white prints taken directly after MLK Jr. was shot and the charred remains of the original print after Bobby Kennedy was shot. I could hardly hold back the tears. Standing a foot away from the prints, I felt closer to history than ever before.

All I could think was --- what happened?

I felt retroactively a bit of the anguish and despair that so many described in the wake of these deaths, especially as I realized how little has changed. One of the most depressing things about this presidential campaign is seeing the racial rhetoric and fears of the 1960s resurface in more subtle forms.

I’m reading Charles Marsh’s memoir right now titled The Last Days: A Son’s Story of Sin and Segregation at the Dawn of the New South. What perhaps shocked me the most was his description of the Jesus People movement in its initial beginnings.

Check out these lyrics by Larry Norman:

i was born and raised an orphan
in a land that once was free in
a land that poured its love out on the moon
and i grew up in the shadows of your silos
filled with grain
but you never helped to fill my empty spoon

and when i was ten you murdered law
with courtroom politics
and you learned to make a lie sound just like truth
but i know you better now
and i don’t fall for all your tricks
and you’ve lost the one advantage of my youth

you kill a black man at midnight
just for talking to your daughter
then you make his wife your mistress
and you leave her without water
and the sheet you wear upon your face
is the sheet your children sleep on
at every meal you say a prayer
you don’t believe but still you keep on

and your money says in God we trust
but it’s against the law to pray in school
you say we beat the Russians to the moon
and i say you starved your children to do it

you are far across the ocean
but the war is not your own
and while you’re winning theirs
you’re gonna lose the one at home
do you really think the only way to bring about the peace
is to sacrifice your children
and kill all your enemies

the politicians all make speeches
while the news men all take note
and they exaggerate the issues
as they shove them down our throats
is it really up to them
whether this country sinks or floats
well i wonder who would lead us
if none of us would vote

well my phone is tapped and my lips are chapped
from whispering through the fence
you know every move i make
or is that just coincidence
well you try to make my way of life
a little less like jail
if i promise to make tapes and slides
and send them through the mail

and your money says in God we trust
but it’s against the law to pray in school
you say we beat the Russians to the moon
and i say you starved your children to do it
you say all men are equal all men are brothers
then why are the rich more equal than others
don’t ask me for the answer i’ve only got one
that a man leaves his darkness when he follows the Son


Later, this movement would morph into the Religious Right.

What happened?

What shocks and saddens me is that though this song was written 40 years ago, it could have been written today if you substitute cold war references for the “war on terror." Nothing much has changed. Even issues of wire tapping are still around. The line that really caught me was "you say we beat the Russians to the moon, and i say you starved your children to do it. "

I can’t help but feel a little angry and dissapointed with my parent’s generation. While some of them were on the front lines of civil rights, social justice, the feminist movement (my dad was in Vietnam), many more sold out to consumerism, piousness, and acquiescence: a soft life. Meanwhile, they nostalgically pine for the good ol’ days. Yet, today they are the ones who quietly or not so quietly speak about Obama being a closet Muslim or a black nationalist. Not to be too judgmental, but didn’t they learn anything? I’m tired of such self-centeredness, and I have to wonder if my generation is headed the same way. For all our coolness, I don't see us as being particularly relevant either.

We didn’t heed the prophets 40 years ago. It’s doubtful that we will heed them today. But I wonder, how much longer are we going to sing these songs?

popcorn craziness

If you want to see some pictures of us having fun with our texas friends, click here.

It involves a LOT of popcorn.

what's going on?

U.S. Blacks, if a Nation, Would Rank High on AIDS - NYTimes.com:

"If black America were a country, it would rank 16th in the world in the number of people living with the AIDS virus, the Black AIDS Institute, an advocacy group, reported Tuesday."

Given this report, I am certain that if we look at world statistics, HIV/AIDS sufferers would be disproportionally black. What does this mean?

power and hope

After taking a long break from politics --- I’m back. I needed time to reassess my relationship to politics and the candidates, especially in light of my faith commitments. So, I stopped watching CNN (mostly), I stopped reading editorials and political commentaries, and I stopped giving money to Obama.

It’s been healthy. On my office wall hangs the quote by Dr. King, “"The church must be reminded that it is not the master or the servant of the state, but rather the conscience of the state. It must be the guide and the critic of the state, and never its tool. If the church does not recapture its prophetic zeal, it will become an irrelevant social club without moral or spiritual authority."

Over the last month, I have wrestled with what this quote means. My dad sends me weekly letters linking Obama with Hitler. While I was initially offended with this allusion, I understand what my dad is getting at. Charisma has power. And how will this power be used? Do I align myself with this power --- or is my relationship a bit more complex than this?

Several things in the last few weeks have reminded me why I support Obama (especially in comparison the alternatives). I don’t think Obama is a savior. However, I think he sees the world a bit more the way God sees it --- as a global, interconnected community. Critics are upset by what they see as a “transnational” president, and I don’t even want to know what the fundamentalists are saying. This plays perfectly into their fears of Obama is the anti-Christ. But if we choose to look through the lens of hope, instead of fear, I think that Obama’s perspective paints the possibility of a fundamentally different reality. I, for one, am tired of living under the tyranny of fear and terror, which has justified untold abuse and violence.

I can’t help but think we are so afraid of the unknown that we would rather cling to the logic of fear and it’s stepchildren of violence, abuse, terror, torture, and war. I’ll be honest. I’m afraid of the unknown too. At least with George Bush/John McCain we know what we will get – a world of black and white. A picture more comforting (at times) than a complex world of grays: shadows mingled with bursts of light.

Why is hope more frightening to us than fear itself? Perhaps because it forces us to walk in acknowledgment of our vulnerability and finitude realizing that we don’t have all the answers or the impenetrable ability to protect ourselves. Yet, despite all this, hope committees us to remain open to one another and to the world.

I don’t think it is my role as a follower of Christ is to unequivocally endorse Obama, but I will vote for him as I continue to listen to my own conscience. And I will continue to be challenged to shift my perspective from fear to hope --- hope not in the power of Obama, but in the power of God’s redemptive and reconciling work in the world. Seeing the people of the world as my neighbors is not a liberal position but rather the call of Christ. Therefore, how our nation treats our global neighbors is of paramount importance to me. What I see in Obama – in contrast to what I have seen for the last 8 years – excites me. It opens us new possibilities. But they are still unknown possibilities, possibilities so easily corrupted by power.

So in the words of Obama’s own prayer --- may we, as citizens of the world, be protected from pride and despair as we step forward in hope.

white privilege in america

I finally watched CNN’s Black in America. Though I was looking forward to the installments, on the night it premiered, I couldn’t bring myself to watch it. Like many, I feel conflicted about the series. I’m sensitive to the fact that it may reinforce stereotypes and representations, which is why I held off on watching it. I wish that there had been more time to unpack structural inequalities and the whole notion of white privilege. At the same time, there were a lot of realities portrayed in the documentaries that so much of white America is ignorant to.

I watched the segment on black men --- and honestly, I was left feeling depressed. Not so much with the circumstances people found themselves in, but rather, I was reminded of how pervasive privilege is. My husband and I can get in our car without worrying about being pulled over. We can drive into virtually any neighborhood without worrying that the cops will be called. I was shocked a few years ago when some of the students I worked with talked about being stopped by campus security (at their campus) and asked to show ID. No reason was given. I realize now that this is a pretty common scenario and replicated in various forms throughout society.

I worry that what white viewers will take from the film is pathology, instead of looking between the lines and acknowledging our relationship to and complicity in the conditions many African Americans and other minorities find themselves in. I applaud CNN in their ambitious attempts, but I can’t help but worry that for some, this will simply be a voyeuristic exercise that only confirms white prejudices and reifies our stereotypes.

I wish that there had been a whole segment on communities working together, creative solutions, and most of all, reconciliation. Also, maybe CNN should do a follow up documentary called “white privilege in America” where they track white people’s personal and communal stories of coming to terms with racism and privilege and their response to this realization – guilt, anger, denial, reconciliation, healing, etc. Now, that would truly be radical! Actually, come to think of it "white privilege in America" could just as well be the title of Black in America because it essentially is the wider narrative and framing backdrop at work in the documentary, even if not fully acknowledged.

Did you see Black in America? What did you think?

growing

I am rereading Parker Palmer’s Let Your Life Speak. Right now, I feel a strong pull in me to pause and just let things ferment for a while. As much as my impulse is to try to figure everything out, to start lining up the ducks, to write feroicoulsy, read consistently, and list and relist, what I hear is “wait.” I know enough from my past experiences that I need to honor this, even if I don’t understand it.

This is the strangest process. I’m still learning how to honor my intuitions and pay attention to what brings me life and what drains life. The last few weeks have been an invitation to move deeper as I have confronted how much of my self is wrapped up in the projections and refractions of others. I have been trying so burdened by the need to get ahead and the need to acomplish a goal.

Palmer reminds me that “if the self seeks not pathology but wholeness […]then the willful pursuit of vocation is an act of violence towards ourselves – violence in the name of vision, that, however lofty, is forced on the self from without rather than grown from within .”

Growing anything takes time, patience, space. This is so counter to our society’s focus on setting goals, achieving them, and getting ahead. Our culture tells us that we cannot stop striving, working, planning. I don’t want to be passive – quite the opposite – but I’m convinced that if I am going to get anywhere that is worthwhile, I must learn to let go, be still, and listen.

revolution (but not the NY kind)

Black. Female. Accomplished. Attacked.

By Sophia A. NelsonSunday, July 20, 2008; B01

There she is — no, not Miss America, but the Angela-Davis-Afro-wearing, machine-gun-toting, angry, unpatriotic Michelle Obama, greeting her husband with a fist bump instead of a kiss on the cheek.

It was supposed to be satire, but the caricature of Barack Obama and his wife that appeared on the cover of the New Yorker last week rightly caused a major flap. And among black professional women like me and many of my sisters in the Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority, who happened to be gathered last week in Washington for our 100th anniversary celebration, the mischaracterization of Michelle hit the rawest of nerves.

Welcome to our world.

We’ve watched with a mixture of pride and trepidation as the wife of the first serious African American presidential contender has weathered recent campaign travails — being called unpatriotic for a single offhand remark, dubbed a black radical because of something she wrote more than 20 years ago and plastered with the crowning stereotype: “angry black woman.” And then being forced to undergo a politically mandated “makeover” to soften her image and make her more palatable to mainstream America.

Sad to say, but what Obama has undergone, though it’s on a national stage and on a much more prominent scale, is nothing new to professional African American women. We endure this type of labeling all the time. We’re endlessly familiar with the problem Michelle Obama is confronting — being looked at, as black women, through a different lens from our white counterparts, who are portrayed as kinder, gentler souls who somehow deserve to be loved and valued more than we do. So many of us are hoping that Michelle — as an elegant and elusive combination of successful career woman, supportive wife and loving mother — can change that.

“Ain’t I a woman?” Sojourner Truth famously asked 157 years ago. Her ringing question, demanding why black women weren’t accorded the same privileges as their white counterparts, still sums up the African American woman’s dilemma today: How are we viewed as women, and where do we fit into American life?

“Thanks to the hip-hop industry,” one prominent black female journalist recently said to me, all black women are “deemed ’sexually promiscuous video vixens’ not worthy of consideration. If other black women speak up, we’re considered angry black women who complain. This society can’t even see a woman like Michelle Obama. All it sees is a black woman and attaches stereotypes.”

Black women have been mischaracterized and stereotyped since the days of slavery and minstrel shows. In more recent times, they’ve been portrayed onscreen and in popular culture as either sexually available bed wenches in such shows as the 2000 docudrama “Sally Hemings: An American Scandal,” ignorant and foolish servants such as Prissy from “Gone With the Wind” or ever-smiling housekeepers, workhorses who never complain and never tire, like the popular figure of Aunt Jemima.

Even in the 21st century, black women are still bombarded with media and Internet images that portray us as loud, aggressive, violent and often grossly obese and unattractive. Think of the movies “Norbit” or “Big Momma’s House,” or of the only two black female characters in “Enchanted,” an overweight, aggressive traffic cop and an angry divorcée amid all the white princesses. On the other hand, when was the last time you saw a smart, accomplished black professional woman portrayed on mainstream television or in the movies? If Claire Huxtable on “The Cosby Show” comes to mind, remember that she left the scene 16 years ago.

The reality is that in just a generation, many black women — who were mostly domestics, schoolteachers or nurses in the post-slavery Jim Crow era — have become astronauts, corporate executives, doctors, lawyers, engineers and PhDs. You name it, and black women have achieved it. The most popular woman on daytime television is Oprah Winfrey. Condoleezza Rice is secretary of state.

And yet my generation of African American women — we’re called, in fact, the Claire Huxtable generation — hasn’t managed to become successfully integrated into American popular culture. We’re still looking for respect in the workplace, where, more than anything else, black women feel invisible. It’s a term that comes up again and again. “In my profession, white men mentor young whites on how to succeed,” a financial executive told me, but “they’re either indifferent to or dogmatically document the mistakes black women make. Their indifference is the worst, because it means we’re invisible.”

As someone who recently left a large law firm to work in the corporate sector, I have to agree. I liked my firm, but I always felt that I had to sink or swim on my own. I didn’t get the kind of mentoring that I saw white colleagues, male and female, getting all around me. The firm was actually one of the better ones when it came to diversity, and yet of 600 partners, only five were black women.

A 2007 American Bar Association report titled “Visible Invisibility” describes how black women in the legal profession face the “double burden” of being both black and female, meaning that they enjoy none of the advantages that black men gain from being male, or that white women gain from being white.

Invisibility isn’t the only problem. I run an organization dedicated to supporting African American professional women and often run empowerment workshops at various conferences. At a recent such workshop, I asked the participants to list some words that would describe how they believe they’re viewed in the workplace and the culture at large. These are the kinds of words that came back: “loud,” “angry,” “intimidating,” “mean,” “opinionated,” “aggressive,” “hard.” All painful words. Yet asked to describe themselves, the same women offered gentler terms: “strong,” “loving,” “dependable,” “compassionate.”
Where does the disconnect come from? Possibly from the way black women have been forced into roles of strength for decades. “Black women are the original multitaskers of necessity,” says one nonprofit executive. “We’ve perfected it because we’ve been doing it for so long. But people don’t appreciate the skill it requires, and they don’t recognize the toll it takes on us as human beings.”

For all our success in the professional world, we have paid a significant price in our private and emotional lives. A life of preordained singleness (by chance, not by choice) is fast becoming the plight of alarming numbers of professional black women in America. The fact is that the more money and education a black woman has, the less likely she is to marry and have a family.

Consider these stunning statistics: As of 2007, according to the New York Times, 70 percent of professional black women were unmarried. Black women are five times more likely than white women to be single at age 40. In 2003, Newsweek reported that there are more black women than black men (24 percent to 17 percent) in the professional-managerial class. According to Department of Education statistics cited by the Journal of Blacks in Higher Education, black women earn 67 percent of all bachelor’s degrees awarded to blacks, as well as 71 percent of all master’s degrees and 65 percent of all doctoral degrees.

With all the challenges facing professional black women today, we hope that Michelle Obama will defy the negative stereotypes about us. And that, now that a strong professional black woman is center stage, she’ll bring to light what we already know: that an accomplished black woman can be a loyal and supportive wife and a good mother and still fulfill her own dreams. The fact that her husband clearly adores Michelle is both refreshing and reassuring to many of us who long to find a good man who will love and appreciate us.

Recently, a friend who’s a married professional mother of three girls wrote to me: “I think one of the most interesting things about Michelle Obama is that what she and her husband are doing is pretty revolutionary these days — and I don’t mean running for president. For a black man and woman in the U.S. to be happily married, with children, and working as partners to build a life — let alone a life of service to others — all while rearing their children together is downright revolutionary.”

It’s how so many black professional women feel. And our hope is that if Michelle Obama becomes first lady, the revolution will come to us at last.

snelson@iaskinc.org
Sophia A. Nelson is a corporate attorney and president of iask, Inc., an organization for African American professional women.

celebrate beauty

the house, Seattle WA
Summer 2007

the price of heroics

I’m practically delirious this morning after staying up until 3 AM last night to see the first showing of The Dark Knight. Than, unfortunately, has a penchant for midnight movie showings – getting there two hours early to be first in line and staking out his territory. Since I’m usually in bed by 10 PM, this isn’t really my scene.

The film, though, is stunning.
A dark, ambivalent, and philosophical tale, the viewers are left wondering if the price for good triumphing over evil is nothing short of truth. But I won’t give too much away. This is one film to see in the theater.

let your life speak

Who am I and how am I different from the story I tell about myself and the story I want to tell? As much as I fantasize about being an aid worker or an activist on the front lines (yes, I’m an idealist), my life has run and is still running a different course.

At age 25, my voice is still a little unclear. I catch glimpses of it between scattered notes, drawings, prayers, and articles. But I have learned that it is impossible to connect the dots or conjure it on demand. Instead, I wait.

In West Texas on a Wednesday afternoon, I wait. My view towards work has become quite cynical lately. I used to think mostly in terms of vocation, but now I think about work and wonder if I will ever discover my vocation. How will I know when I’m living out my vocation? Right now, I just sit in an office 40 hours a week feeling disconnected from the students I want to serve.

I still enjoy entering student’s lives and empowering them, but as the years go by I see student after student slip through the cracks. I see the weight of the world placed squarely on their backs. The cycle of poverty already beginning with loans and debt. Stupid stuff: racked up phone bills, credit cards. Serious stuff: dysfunctional families, mental illness, institutional racism. I realize now what I did not realize two years ago –I cannot save them. Sooner or later, I will leave them or they will leave. All I can do is be with them in this moment, and most days this doesn’t feel like enough.

It gets so old when it seems like there is no real desire institutionally to change anything and though I have words to speak, the context is lacking. I know I make a difference, but I also get the sense that I am not exercising my gifts to their fullest. What made my experience at SPU unique was that the people I had the privilege of working with and working under. I realize now that in many ways they flew in the face of institutionalism and sometimes challenged it. Yet, I was transformed by their commitment to honor the voices of others and to Spirit-led empowerment. The limited time our lives intersected continues to shape me.

I’m so thankful I was able to attend and work in such a vibrant ecumenical community committed to “engaging the culture, changing the world.” Though, I rolled my eyes at the time and did not refrain from pointing out many of SPU’s flaws and hypocrisies, this motto stays with me. By the time I left, I was frustrated and burnt out with the slow-moving process of “racial reconciliation,” the gap between ideals and on-the-ground experiences of students/staff/faculty of color and the politics However, at least there was a commitment, and thus a standard to hold the community to.

I don't know where I’m going next, but I want to be in a place that values multiple voice and diversity. Than and I just talked last night about how much we miss real debate and dialogue over issues that matter. Here there are small bands of agnostic atheists amidst a large ocean of culturally washed-out Christians and nothing really in between. I yearn for dynamic conversation and debate as well as opportunities to be creative and engaged. If I am not nourished, challenged, and sustained, I don’t think I will have much more to offer, especially to students.

So, perhaps, my career in student leadership, student programs, student organizations, student activities has run its course. I know the end is in sight, but I also wonder what the next step will be. I still wonder if graduate school is really what’s in store for me. Right now, I don’t feel a strong no, and I don’t know if I feel a strong yes. I’m open, but I’m still waiting too.

What feels more important to me about our next move is to be in diverse cross-cultural community, to be intentional about where we live and how we live, and to be in a place where my voice and gifts are nourished and valued. Living in a city would be pretty nice too.

the way to god is down

It is way too easy to be critical. These days, there are reasons to be critical of almost everything, and I find myself weary of all the –isms. I believe in a God that is bigger than discourse, bigger than constructs, and bigger than ideologies.

I do care about justice and abuse of power. I care about privilege and oppression, and I care about exploring how this is manifested in our culture and society.

But I’m pretty tired of our petty wars. I want to know one thing: Christ crucified. What does this mean for our world today? What does it mean for the refugee, the homeless, the mother stuck between welfare and a dead end job, the undocumented immigrant, the political prisoner, the tortured, and the victim of domestic violence?

I can’t get these faces out of my mind. The intellectual conversations and sermons we have so often erase them, and we remain as distant from their realities as when we began. Instead, we fight and work up rages about theologies, about ideologies, about abstractions.

Tell me: should we be fighting for a woman’s right to earn 100,000 or should we be living in solidarity with the millions of women oppressed by poverty, HIV, war, sexual assault, and the color of their skin? What would the latter look like? “Living with” and “solidarity” were not abstractions or token phrases for Jesus. Instead, every aspect of his life was lived in communion with the poor, oppressed and marginalized.

Sometimes the easiest way to answer life's unanswerable questions is to move closer to the ground.

cheers to 8 hours a day in the office!

The fruits of the feminist revolution? Sisterhood, empowerment, and eight hours a day in a cubicle.

I Choose my Choice! by Sandra Tsing Loh

This is a provocative article about privilege, feminism, and motherhood exploring how the "choices" woman assume are tied to privilege, capitalism and class.

the new yorker

My sister wanted my take on The New Yorker cover controversy. So, here is is:

I think that the cover was intended to be satire, but I agree with most people that it kind of missed the boat. Instead of subverting lies and misconception, it ended up reifying them.

I think Roland Martin had the best take on the issue. His point is that if the cover had a headline and an article attacking fear mongering, then the satire would have worked. But strangely, neither the cover's tag line or the inside stories had anything to do with the cover forcing the cover to be taken at face value.

I see what The New Yorker was intending to do -- i'm personally not offended by it -- but i'm concerned that they didn't think a bit more carefully before they put the picture on the cover. What could have been funny, cutting, controversial and started a real conversation about the way the Obamas are being demonized instead feel flat and didn't even call out the people it supposedly was trying to.

For Roland's take: http://essence.typepad.com/news/2008/07/new-yorker.html

The other question posed by anxious black woman is if we as a nation are ready and able to understand sophisticated racial humor or if most people take this humor literally and use it to prop up their biases. I think it is mostly the latter, unfortunately.

The other point explored by anxious black woman is that for satire to work it has to have a kernel of truth in it. So, what exactly is the kernel of truth? The New Yorker claims that the kernel of truth was the stupidity of those who demonize the Obamas, but like Roland says - without a tag line or a story attacking this thinking this falls short. So, then what is the kernel of truth? If you just take the image, it seems that the kernel of truth is suggesting that the Obamas might actually be what is being "parodied." I heard the editor of the NY arguing that this was basically Colbert in print, but Colbert uses his satire to hit directly at close minded conservatives so I don't follow.

Final thought: maybe as a culture, we are not as savvy as interpreting images critically as we think we are. Maybe this is one of the underlying issues of this whole controversy: we need everything spelled out to us in black and white because we have lost the ability to read and think critically.

Have we lost the ability to read and interpret satire?

Jon Stewart was pretty critical tonight about the media blowing up this issue, and Than shares his perspective.