got hope?

At a time when voters and the nation are supposed to be ramping up the excitement, I can’t help but feel more and more discouraged. I listen to conservative talk radio, and the barrage of criticism and borderline hate speech is relentless. I know that millions of Americans (including my dad) are just eating it up. I’m fascinated and outraged by the narrative McCain and his surrogates have managed to paint ---- Obama as an elitist, as an outsider, as a celebrity, as the “chosen one.” Nothing could be further from the truth when you actually pause to consider the facts of who Obama is and the historic nature of his candidacy. In fact, if anyone is an elitist it is John McCain who comes from a long line of privilege. The racial subtext being spun and re-spun is disheartening: the old fear of the black man rising. And Obama is in a tough spot because if he projects confidence, he is seen as overreaching. If he is successful, he is seen as elitist. At a time where we should be celebrating a historic achievement, Obama is caught up in subtle and not so subtle allusions to Hitler and the anti-Christ and basest pandering to white fear. I’m worried that his campaign will not be prepared for this vicious undercurrent, which is corroding the confidence of average Americans not trained to critically look at narrative.

I’m ashamed and angry at how quickly the narrative has shifted and been turned upside down. I definitely underestimated the pervasiveness ignorance in American culture. And I wonder if Obama’s inspiration, story, and intelligence will be enough to defeat lies, fears, and misconceptions. We Americans love our security. Over the last few weeks it seems like Obama has been a one man show. Where are all the supporters, where is the party to boost him, defend him, and frame this election around more than elitism? And where are the people directly challenging racism and hate speech? Let me say it even more specifically – where are the white people directly and publically challenging racism and hate speech? I know it’s a delicate dance because the Obamas are doing all they can right now to avoid identification with “race.” But we the people have to call things for what they are. It is absolutely wrong to let the Republicans get away with the horrible and ignorant types of associations they are making.

I heard Rush Limbaugh a few days ago joking (or perhaps not) about how many times he could get away with calling Obama little black boy. This election may not be about race, but the Republicans are not above using race to win. They are not ignorant, just bloodthirsty, as they savagely maligning the story of someone who has risen against incredible odds. I admire Barack and especially Michelle because I understand the odds that have been stacked against them. I see these odds working in higher education every day. These are two people that had to dig down deep and believe in their own dignity and worth long before it was affirmed by others. Michelle Obama is one of the most authentic figures in politics right now. And yet, her authenticity is framed as anger and unpatriotic. What is wrong with our country? Michelle Obama speaks from her heart and sees through the game of politics, yet she is saavy and strong. Is this not the type of role model we want for our sons and daughters?

I’m eager to see what Obama has to say tonight. He needs to be concrete, strong, and substantive. He needs to directly confront these charges of elitism. And the people of the United States need to rise to the occasion as well. We need to meet him half way. We need to show our support and start speaking out against the lies we encounter. I feel convicted that I can no longer just stand by. I don’t think Obama is going to be the savior of the world or of the nation, but if Obama loses because of fear and doubt, I will stand ashamed.

As much as I was inspired by Michelle’s words on Monday, I worry that we as a nation will miss our opportunity to tell our “own children about what we did together in this election.” I worry that we will miss the opportunity to “tell them how this time, we listened to our hopes, instead of our fears. How this time, we decided to stop doubting and to start dreaming. How this time, in this great country - where a girl from the South Side of Chicago can go to college and law school, and the son of a single mother from Hawaii can go all the way to the White House - we committed ourselves to building the world as it should be.” And that is truly depressing.

Anyone got hope?

pendulum shifts

Finding the Right Words for Abortion - The Plank

I haven't spent too much time following the subtle shifts in the Democratic Party as they try to reach out to people of faith, but I am encouraged by this article in The New Republic on new language surrounding abortion in the Democratic Party.

It is really encouraging that two groups who have long been at odds are finding ways to advocate for their values and also compromise. Gradually, the gap that seemed insurmountable is closing. What a fascinating process. This spirit of compromise definitely wasn't there four years ago, and we all payed the price.

Credit needs to be given to Christian progressive groups and evangelicals for making their voices heard and starting dialogue across the political spectrum. Credit also needs to be given to Democrats who have been willing to make space for and listen to a variety of positions. I'm sure both groups are not completely satisfied, but it is a step forward.

I survived Orientation.

civil forum: it's over

ok, the civil forum at saddleback church is now over. it was interesting, but not as illuminating as i thought it might be. Most of what I heard from either candidate was stuff I already knew or expected. I did appreciate Warren's focus on a wide range of issues. I think this really will surprise the mainstream media that expected this to be about religion, instead of what it was about ---- values, worldview, life experience, perspective. So, the real winner here, is Warren.

I'm looking forward to the analysis. I hope there is more of Roland.

civil forum: mccain

McCain's answers on abortion, gay marriage, evil (defined in his words as Osama Bin Laden and radical Islam) are pretty stock Republican but expressed with conviction. For black/white voters, this will be appealing.

Obama at least got a bit more nuanced in his answers. It remains to be seen how this will impact him. Even though he is pro-choice, he expressed acknowledgment of the moral and ethical difficulty and respect for the views of the other side. McCain's position doesn't allow for this. I think Obama's answer on gay marriage is definitely going to be sticky. This is an issue where both sides are pretty committed to their positions and often unwilling to accept any type of middle ground because they see it as giving up their necessary definition of marriage and the rights given.


Warren's asking McCain to define rich. "Rich should be defined as a home, a good education, a job, and an ability to hand off to our children a better more prosperous world." Interesting. This is followed by a statement that he doesn't believe in redistribution.

civil forum

McCain's heroes of wisdom are:
generals
soldiars
entrepenuers

vs. Obama's:

Michelle
grandmother
i can't remember the last one. I think it was a pretty general answer.

Interesting contrast. I'm glad Michelle made the list :)

Wow, I'm actually really impressed with McCain's second and third answers. He admits that his greatest moral failure is the collapse of his first marriage. The greatest moral failure of America ---- instead of going out shopping after 9/11, we should have gotten involved in service. I agree with that principle, thought probably wouldn't place emphasis on the military as he does.

McCain - what issue did you change your mind on in the last 10 years (because of new information)?

WHAT? Off-shore drilling. hmmmm. Argument about national security.

civil forum, not faith forum

Obama is over. I just realized that this forum is actually called a "civil forum" ---- not a faith forum as it was billed in the mainstream media.

Obama and McCain on stage together. awkward.

Back to the title of the forum, I think this says a lot. Warren seems to be intentional about putting the focus on civil discourse from a faith perspective and trying to give Obama/McCain rare opportunities to go deeper and possibly be a bit vulnerable. I'm not sure that has really happened yet. Unfortunately, it's really hard at this stage of the game for either of them to drop their masks (no matter how noble these masks may be.)

faith forum: gay marriage

second break with Obama.

I was surprised with Obama's answer on gay marriage. His answer did not seem to jive with what I know of Obama's support of the LGBTQ community. It was, though, a good middle of the road answer and argument to evangelicals about how civil unions for gays will not hurt or challenge "marriage." It seems that he made a calculated move to answer the question in a way to further align himself with evangelicals. But I know it will raise red-flags with a lot of his gay supporters. It definitely took me off guard. I wonder what the fallout will be.

faith forum live blogging

The first section with Obama is over. I'm not as much impressed with Obama's answers. Once you hear him speak a lot, you pretty much anticipate his answers. What I AM impressed with are Warren's questions. They are insightful and nuanced. I only wish that the candidates dared to answer them honestly.

Warren understands that so-called flip flopping isn't necessarily bad. Sometimes it's necessary because you change your position based on new information. It means you are able to grow and adapt.

Warren is interested at getting at personal failure, weakness, integrity, leadership, how one makes difficult decisions with love and integrity. This is where faith and politics often clash. Because in the world of politics, it is often considered disastrous to show weakness, to fail, to change and grow.

faith forum live blogging

Greatest moral failure in America?

Obama's answer - that we still do not abide by the principle in Matthew that "whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me" ---- applies to racism, sexism, poverty, etc.

faith forum: civil discourse

It's starting...

Rick Warren "We have to learn to disagree without demonizing each other."

Hmmm. Novel. I like his emphasis on civil discourse. That he would even reach out to both candidates and give them an equal platform.

faith forum live blogging

I am going to try my first take at “live-blogging” the faith forum. I just turned on CNN to see my favorite commentator Roland Martin taking on Tony Perkins from the Family Research Council right after Rick Warren said on public television that he does not consider himself pro-life, but rather “whole-life.”

It’s going to be interesting to see how the issue of abortion comes up further tonight.

I'm also curious to see how the media and others unpack this forum especially because they generally treat evangelical as a political category instead of as a religious term. I think that this forum is going to challenge this a bit.

Roland is kicking ass...

And can I just say that while I rolled my eyes a few years ago when it seemed like the whole world was reading The Purpose Driven Life ---- I have been really impressed with Warren as I have followed him over the years, especially with how his faith and conviction about social justice seems to have genuinely deepened as he has experienced God's work in the world among the most poor and vulnerable. Who would have thought?

graduate school update

The Olympics have been inspiring me recently. In the last 3 years, I have had a hard time with concepts of discipline and success. Stepping away from everything and simply learning to be me has been good. Gradually, I’m gaining affirmation that it is possible to be strong and gentle, do graduate work and take care of myself, and be an intellectual while staying connected to the other things that give me life. An old professor told me a few months ago that the sense of “pretense” in academia is really much more of an outside perception as I confessed my own fears. I’m starting to believe this.

As I’m entering a phase in the application process where I need to be wise, discerning, and very focused, I’m realizing that it’s ok to be driven. It sounds funny, but for a long time I have been afraid of focus, discipline, and naming some of my passions because I have been so afraid of losing the sense of self that I have nurtured and protected. At the same time, my spirit and approach has changed so much. I’m starting to believe that the center will hold. The center will hold.

As I’m transitioning from a walk to a sprint, I hope that I will continue to cultivate this posture of prayer, trust, and anticipation. I’m realizing that I can afford to wait. In fact, I can’t afford not to wait and really listen to my own voice and God’s Spirit within me. I can be offered all the opportunities in the world, but if the clothes don’t fit, they are not worth wearing. I’m not holding onto anything too tightly.

But, as I started revising my writing sample last week, I found myself crying at one point in the writing process because the truth of what I was writing – the ways the ideas were coming together and their real life application – felt so profound. It was especially wondrous to realize that those seeds where there years ago, but it is only now with a different perspective and maturity informed by my own experience of sorrow, that I can bring these threads and concepts together. On another level, it felt really good to be writing an academic paper again. I honestly haven’t touched that stuff since I graduated…my writing instead has been heart-focused, open, playful, investigative, and free-form. It felt good to funnel that energy into something focused again.

The ability to believe in myself has been slow to return, but I’m slowly learning that it is ok (and safe) for me to embrace passion, direction, and even success in a healthy way. I’m actually surprised at the direction everything has taken and the focus that is emerging. There is a deepening sense that I am held even as I step into the unknown. I’ve narrowed my list down to 10 schools with 7 of those schools being religion or theology programs. I would be delighted to be accepted into any of the programs. From a list of 50 schools, I’ve decided over the last few months that it is only worth applying to schools where there is a sense of connection and fit. It’s not about prestige. It’s about resonance and a deeper sense of prompting and vocation. And the money? The timing? Than? I trust that these things will be made clear in time.

What is important to me is the stuff that has always been important: opportunities for interdisciplinary cross-cultural education, and the chance to learn under a diverse faculty with knowledge of and a commitment to global issues, Africa, social justice, healing, and reconciliation. It is these scholars, though rare, who are invaluable to me. I'm ready to learn from them again.

georgia and russia

Very worried about the situation in Georgia, as I'm sure everyone in my family is. We had a great adopted exchange student from Georgia who spent a lot of time with my family in 2003. She was with us during the pro-democratic elections, and full of hope and excitement for what this could mean for her country, family, and future. I can't help but think of her smile and optimism.

Bush Banters as a Buffer in Beijing

Bush Banters as a Buffer in Beijing - NYTimes.com

Interesting article about Bush's strategy in Beijing. I'm reminded that despite the need for respect, there are still serious issues in China in terms of human rights and religious freedom.

What do you think the US response should be to China in the context of the Olympics?

olympic fever, who knew?

It has been an interesting weekend --- lots of opportunities to reflect on different strands of my life. First, the opening Olympic ceremonies were AMAZING. It only confirmed my sense that whatever we in the West might think about China and their politics, we must also remember to respect their dignity, culture and history. I was in awe with the beauty and intricacy of the artistic portion of the ceremonies. I also felt pretty humbled by the magnitude and scope of Chinese culture; it really made me reflect on the shallowness and relative newness of our own.

It’s been really fun watching the Olympics. I didn’t expect to take so much interest in them, but the intersection of so many countries and cultures through the lens of sports and teamwork really fascinates me. I thought of my Korean friends with pride when I watched the swimming competition, and Park Tae-hwan take the gold! How exciting. I really have felt humbled and repentant of how much we in the West ignore Asian culture. It’s not blatant condescension, but we still communicate our sense of superiority regardless. The Olympics have been a really good chance to for me reflect on and repent of this.

I also loved- LOVED – watching the parade of nations. At times, I felt tears running down my face. It was an opportunity to pray for each country as they came onto the world stage in Beijing. My heart simultaneously rejoiced with the picture of so many peoples gathered together in joy and anticipation and broke with the knowledge and awareness of so much pain and conflict in the world. When the five Palestinians marched I could hardly hold it together (good thing I was alone :)). I was struck by their dignity and grieved by the palpable weight of their occupation and oppression. The newscaster mentioned that their swimmer has never had the opportunity to train in an Olympic length field due to lack of access and travel restrictions. Shame! The news of US visa rejections of 5 Palestinian Fulbright scholars is still weighing on me.

Final thought, the young 9 year old survivor of the earthquake leading the flag march for China was adorable, inspiring, and sobering. As was, the US flag bearer, a “lost boy” of Sudan. I love that the United States truly is a nation of immigrants and that our face has always been diverse. I only wish we would celebrate and embrace this diversity more when we are off the sports field.

Anyway, I think it’s safe to say that I officially have “Olympic Fever.” I guess this is the one arena that I feel ok about feeling patriotic and proud of my country, especially because I’m also feeling so proud of all the others.

I also love all the cameos of George W. Bush. That guy really just doesn't have a sense of how to play to the camera. During the opening ceremonies, the camera caught him checking his watch, staring at the ceiling in characteristic blank concentration, and just looking downright bored. Come on, Mr. President.To be fair, I did see a good interview with the president where he basically said that despite our differences, the Olympics are a time to show respect of the Chinese people and their accomplishments. Agreed.

olympics, shame, and peace

As we have talked more with our friends familiar with China, and I have learned more about Chinese culture, I have begun to question activist tactics that have focused putting pressure on China through the Olympic games. This is a moment for China to feel pride and dignity in its people, country, and progress, and I'm convinced that any attempts to pressure China through shame will only back-fire with increased nationalism and dogmatism. Plus, the Chinese reactions to Western pressure are completely understandable given our complicated histories and interactions. I still feel strongly that China needs to be held accountable for human rights abuses and its participation in supplying weapons to Darfur and Zimbabwe (not to mention Burma and Tibet). But I think we Westerners need to be careful in how we issue our responses to China, especially because of the sensitivity surrounding our cultural differences and history.

So, I was really excited about this response, which seems a middle way. The video made me smile too!

Join the online handshake here:

santa fe pictures

santa fe summer

Than and I are back from a wonderful and much needed weekend away in Santa Fe.







We had much to reflect on and celebrate – one year of marriage, one year of Texas, the gift of community, the opportunity to study, and God’s ongoing provision and care in our lives. Thanks to the generous support of our families, we enjoyed a carefree weekend. I didn’t think about our budget once!


Santa Fe is a great city to visit. Our B&B was a block away from the historic Plaza.




So, once we parked our car, we spent the rest of the weekend walking and wandering through the narrow streets.



Friday night we dined at Aqua Santa – an intimate restaurant where food is freshly prepared in an open kitchen. We sat outside in the rustic courtyard framed by large Japanese lanterns and flowing vines. This restaurant has no pretense, only commitment and passion for excellent food. It was perfect. I had fresh soft-shell crab. I ordered without hesitation, but once my food came I realized that I didn’t know how to eat soft shell crab. I gave it my best guess eating most of the shell and the body but leaving the legs. It was an interesting experience to say the least – delicious, but I don’t think I’ll be eating it again anytime soon. Let’s just say I began to over-think what was going into my mouth.


There was a bit of awkwardness throughout the weekend as apparently our tastes run 20 years older than our age. Everywhere we went --- our B&B, dinner, shopping --- we were by far the youngest customers. This makes for a lot of awkward interactions with staff.


Saturday night, we enjoyed drinks and southwestern appetizers on the rooftop cantina at the celebrated Coyote Café. Cheaper with great food and fun atmosphere, we finally felt our age. The BBQ duck quesadilla and the hibiscus-tea-ni were some of my favorites!


We finished the weekend off with two trips to Tara’s Organic Ice Cream --- the most amazing ice cream you will ever taste! I sampled the cardamom and chocolate tarragon flavors. Than had cinnamon and Turkish coffee. Mmmmmm.

Cheers to one year of marriage!

days of lament

This weekend, as Than and I browsed the galleries of Santa Fe, we stumbled on a photographic exhibit of the 1960s. I saw black and white prints taken directly after MLK Jr. was shot and the charred remains of the original print after Bobby Kennedy was shot. I could hardly hold back the tears. Standing a foot away from the prints, I felt closer to history than ever before.

All I could think was --- what happened?

I felt retroactively a bit of the anguish and despair that so many described in the wake of these deaths, especially as I realized how little has changed. One of the most depressing things about this presidential campaign is seeing the racial rhetoric and fears of the 1960s resurface in more subtle forms.

I’m reading Charles Marsh’s memoir right now titled The Last Days: A Son’s Story of Sin and Segregation at the Dawn of the New South. What perhaps shocked me the most was his description of the Jesus People movement in its initial beginnings.

Check out these lyrics by Larry Norman:

i was born and raised an orphan
in a land that once was free in
a land that poured its love out on the moon
and i grew up in the shadows of your silos
filled with grain
but you never helped to fill my empty spoon

and when i was ten you murdered law
with courtroom politics
and you learned to make a lie sound just like truth
but i know you better now
and i don’t fall for all your tricks
and you’ve lost the one advantage of my youth

you kill a black man at midnight
just for talking to your daughter
then you make his wife your mistress
and you leave her without water
and the sheet you wear upon your face
is the sheet your children sleep on
at every meal you say a prayer
you don’t believe but still you keep on

and your money says in God we trust
but it’s against the law to pray in school
you say we beat the Russians to the moon
and i say you starved your children to do it

you are far across the ocean
but the war is not your own
and while you’re winning theirs
you’re gonna lose the one at home
do you really think the only way to bring about the peace
is to sacrifice your children
and kill all your enemies

the politicians all make speeches
while the news men all take note
and they exaggerate the issues
as they shove them down our throats
is it really up to them
whether this country sinks or floats
well i wonder who would lead us
if none of us would vote

well my phone is tapped and my lips are chapped
from whispering through the fence
you know every move i make
or is that just coincidence
well you try to make my way of life
a little less like jail
if i promise to make tapes and slides
and send them through the mail

and your money says in God we trust
but it’s against the law to pray in school
you say we beat the Russians to the moon
and i say you starved your children to do it
you say all men are equal all men are brothers
then why are the rich more equal than others
don’t ask me for the answer i’ve only got one
that a man leaves his darkness when he follows the Son


Later, this movement would morph into the Religious Right.

What happened?

What shocks and saddens me is that though this song was written 40 years ago, it could have been written today if you substitute cold war references for the “war on terror." Nothing much has changed. Even issues of wire tapping are still around. The line that really caught me was "you say we beat the Russians to the moon, and i say you starved your children to do it. "

I can’t help but feel a little angry and dissapointed with my parent’s generation. While some of them were on the front lines of civil rights, social justice, the feminist movement (my dad was in Vietnam), many more sold out to consumerism, piousness, and acquiescence: a soft life. Meanwhile, they nostalgically pine for the good ol’ days. Yet, today they are the ones who quietly or not so quietly speak about Obama being a closet Muslim or a black nationalist. Not to be too judgmental, but didn’t they learn anything? I’m tired of such self-centeredness, and I have to wonder if my generation is headed the same way. For all our coolness, I don't see us as being particularly relevant either.

We didn’t heed the prophets 40 years ago. It’s doubtful that we will heed them today. But I wonder, how much longer are we going to sing these songs?

popcorn craziness

If you want to see some pictures of us having fun with our texas friends, click here.

It involves a LOT of popcorn.