I took the GRE yesterday. The mental barrier that long stood between me and graduate school is gone.

I have been studying most nights and weekends since August. The GRE gave structure and purpose to my life. It made me feel as if I had academic pursuits alongside Than whenever I hunkered down to learn vocabulary and scratched out math problems at the kitchen table. At the same time, my life is starting to get busier and something inside me says: it is time to move on.

Now that I have moved on, I’m not sure what the next steps will be. What will I devote my time to? Am I any closer to figuring out what I want to do with life? After the initial rush of gratitude and relief, underlying insecurity reemerges. What if my scores aren’t good enough?

The space feels strange. Graduate school is within reach. I have passed the first hurdle.

Now what?